— Bon Iver - Holocene
“Pain on pain on play, repeating
With the backup makeshift life in waiting”
Reading in grass fields, so I can sink further into the ground with every perfectly spun phrase.
There is no doubt I will wear out this drug until I have no more tears to cry.
“Breathe in the light, I’ll stay here in the shadows
Waiting for a sign, as the tide grows
Higher, and higher, and higher”
Sometimes, standing in the swirling pieces of all that swallows my soul, I feel it was always my mission to find those things that shake the core of my soul. From standing breathless on the top of a mountain to collapsing onto the bedroom floor from the blow of powerful lyrics. Like thunder from a lighting strike 100ft away and a high speed car crash and the silent screams of a shattering heart and a newborn baby’s first breath and getting a third chance and beauty no word can express and when you’d give up your soul if you could just stay in that moment forever; tangible and intangible all at the same time. Everything that will tear you apart and bring you to tears and everything that will fill you with bewildering joy and bring you to tears. What else is more real? What else matters?
Nothing is more fitting than the sound of thunder this morning to compliment my feelings of resignation.